Confidence seems to be one of those things that so many of us are searching for. Yet, have you ever stopped and actually thought about what it is? We did! We wanted to know: “what is the meaning of confidence and how do we get more of it?”
During our weekly friend chat (when we geek out on all things personal development), Laura Jackson (Publisher and Chief Editor of DB+HH) and I found ourselves diving deep into understanding what confidence means at its core. And once we started digging, we became totally obsessed! In fact, we became so fascinated with what we found that we began writing blog posts and creating workshops just so we could share our insights.
And just like that, “The ‘Real’ Confidence Project” was born. Now we’re on a mission to
help ambitious professionals optimize their confidence and become the best version of themselves both inside and out.
So… what did we learn about confidence that launched us on this journey? Here it is in a nutshell:
What is the meaning of confidence?
We started with a good old google search. Interestingly enough we learned the term “confidence” comes from the latin word fidere, which means “to trust”. Therefore, having confidence is all about having trust. When you have confidence in another person, it means you trust them. And when you have self-confidence, you have trust in yourself.
Next we dove a little deeper into understanding how we can better trust ourselves?
We discovered there are two key components:
1) An inner knowing about who you are and the value you provide to the world
2) Belief that you are capable of achieving success (no matter what that looks like to you).
So having confidence and trusting yourself requires a belief in who you are, knowing your value/worth and your capabilities. To narrow it down even further, we discovered that self-confidence is the ability to trust in yourself, and that trust stems from the beliefs we hold about ourselves.
BOOM! It makes perfect sense, right?
How your beliefs affect your confidence
Many of the beliefs we hold about ourselves form during childhood and are based on culture, family dynamics, relationships and experiences. In fact, they are so ingrained in who we are that we typically aren’t even conscious of them.
Through intensive research and personal reflection, we came to the realization that our beliefs actually shape our lives.
So you may be wondering what this all means and why it matters?
Basically, what we believe about ourselves and the world around us is also what we attract. So in theory, if you believe good things about yourself, you should attract good things into your life and vice versa. This is based on the law of attraction.
When we feel stuck unfulfilled or unhappy, we can usually relate it back to what we call our ‘limiting beliefs’. Ultimately these are what hold us back from being our authentic selves and achieving what we want in life. Once we get conscious about the limiting beliefs that are blocking us, we can work on replacing them with beliefs that empower us.
The good news is that we can change our beliefs about who we are and what we can accomplish right now! The first step is to get conscious about them.
So you might be wondering where to begin? How do we become conscious of the beliefs about ourselves?
Try these confidence-boosting strategies:
Through our own transformation journeys, Laura and I discovered there are a few ways. But here’s a great place to start:
- Set a re-occurring reminder in your calendar for 3 times a day that reads, “How do I feel?”. When you receive these reminders throughout the day, stop for a minute and take note of how you feel. It’s ok to name and feel your emotions as they come up. Ask yourself, why might I be feeling this way? Our emotions are there to give us information (if we listen). By practicing this strategy over time, you will start to uncover your limiting beliefs and open up the opportunity to change them.
- Write a list of a few disempowering beliefs you hold about yourself. Next, try crossing them out and replacing them with a more empowering belief. For example, when it comes to health and fitness you may believe it’s hard and that you are destined to be overweight due to poor genetics. This is a limiting belief that you can change right now! Instead, you could say “Exercise is challenging but I can start slow with 20 minutes a day and aim to lose 1-2 lbs per week.”
See how easy that was? Now it’s your turn!
Ready to dive deeper into The ‘Real’ Confidence Project? We encourage and invite you to come on this journey with us. Subscribe now to get notified about other articles and strategies to help optimize your confidence.